As I write this, Aya Revolution 09 is but one day away and I would like to throw down some perils of wisdom for those that are coming to their first convention or just for the people that never seem to learn.
- Washing is your friend
Showers are provided, no matter where you are saying at the convention. USE THEM! If you are wondering why people are giving you a wide berth, it’s not because your Evangelion T-shirt from three years ago with the original stitching is making them look upon you like some kind of god. It’s because you STINK! People don’t want to be around that person who smells like seven day road kill. While the Lynx adverts may have you thinking you’ll balls will grow bigger, you will be approachable and not have flies buzzing around you like some sort of small moon caught in your orbit.
- ‘Free Hugs’ Signs do not make you popular
‘But everyone loves to get hugs, why do you hate them so much?’ Because it makes you seem like a desperate human who has longed for the touch of another human for so long that you need to do a running jump to pounce on your unsuspecting victim and wrestle them to the floor, followed by lovingly whispering sweet nothings into their ears and making sure to tell them that you plan to kill them next time they sleep.
Personally I feel more sorry for the cosplayers because they are more at risk from the ‘Huggers’. I recommend the pepper spray, as they won’t be back for another hug after that engagement. So if you want to hug someone, ask. Don’t broadcast like some hugging prostitute. At least if you are going to sell yourself out for hugs you’d make some money rather than giving them away.
- Yaoi paddles are not fun way to make friends
Hitting someone with a paddle that has Yaoi written on it is not a way to make friends. It could be seen as a way to say that you want to sex them up. Why the hell would buy a wooden plank of wood and carry it around with you all day, followed by sitting in the bar with it. Not to mention then having to take it home with you in the car, bus, train, etc. It boggles the mind.
- Don’t act like an idiot
Congratulations, you managed to have a weekend with your friends away from parents, other half, whatever. You’re having a few drinks and everyone is having a good time. Don’t spoil that. If you start acting like an idiot, breaking doors, walls, cupboards or doing stupid things that would not only embarrass you but also the convention and the people in it, then you’ll get kicked out. I’ll laugh because you will be taken off of the premises and told to bugger off for the rest of the weekend. There is no reason to trash the place. If you trash the place and the convention committee find out, you’ll be blacklisted from all conventions. Just because Aya and Ame are run by different people doesn’t mean they don’t talk you muppet.
- Pace yourself
While I’ll happily admit to doing some boozing, remember you have an entire weekend to get wasted and make yourself look like a drunken fool. If you kill yourself on booze on the Friday night and feel like crap for the rest of the convention then you only have yourself to blame.That and we’ll more than likely barge into your room the next time and make it worse. We’re fun like that.
- Don’t feel up the cosplayers
While that girl dressed in next to nothing being an anime character is hot, it doesn’t instantly mean you have to be a real pervert and start coming on to them. They won’t like it and neither will their extremely large boyfriend who ca