Let's talk about....random things

Acteon

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sketch-mj.jpg

I've been taking time out to try drawing again. I'm out of practice but I enjoy just doodling more than the end result.

Hope everyone else is finding fun things to pass the time with :)
 

Lillian

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I built a new PC the other day. A sff Ryzen based one which will eventually go in my room. Its tiny, not much bigger than the ATX power supply in my main PC.

m.2 NVMe SSDs are wicked fast!

Dyed my hair today, my roots were getting really obvious so it was about time.
 

Lillian

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I've had an interesting couple of weeks tbh. Come to terms with the fact that this nagging dark feeling i've had for pretty much my entire life is in fact some version of gender dysphoria. Maybe my body issues are connected, I don't know. But once I accidentally said it out loud, for the first ever time, to an older colleague while were talking about some other problems i have (self harm) and how hard it is to get help, its like a cloud has cleared.

Of course this is only the first step of many. Its gonna be a long. slow process but I'm now at the start.

Of course this all happens just as our fucking useless government decide to roll back trans rights, wherever I fit on that. So my happiness and my realisation is certainly clouded by a simmering undercurrent of pure rage. Kinda like a certain anime character from Sanrio, lol.

And now, today, I found out one of my coworkers has long thought I was trans, lol. I mean, I guess I am? Non-binary is part of it, and I do have the dysphoria, so i guess she was accidentally right, lol.

So much to think about, so much to do, so many people that i feel I can trust to tell... its the first step on my journey. Wish me luck, everyone.
 

Acteon

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I've had an interesting couple of weeks tbh. Come to terms with the fact that this nagging dark feeling i've had for pretty much my entire life is in fact some version of gender dysphoria. Maybe my body issues are connected, I don't know. But once I accidentally said it out loud, for the first ever time, to an older colleague while were talking about some other problems i have (self harm) and how hard it is to get help, its like a cloud has cleared.

Of course this is only the first step of many. Its gonna be a long. slow process but I'm now at the start.

Of course this all happens just as our fucking useless government decide to roll back trans rights, wherever I fit on that. So my happiness and my realisation is certainly clouded by a simmering undercurrent of pure rage. Kinda like a certain anime character from Sanrio, lol.

And now, today, I found out one of my coworkers has long thought I was trans, lol. I mean, I guess I am? Non-binary is part of it, and I do have the dysphoria, so i guess she was accidentally right, lol.

So much to think about, so much to do, so many people that i feel I can trust to tell... its the first step on my journey. Wish me luck, everyone.
Well firstly, good luck :)

I deal with a trans couple semi-regularly and they're both lovely people (albeit very shy). They run a model shop near me and gave me some excellent advice on airbrushing that got us talking. We had a trans writer on UKA around 20 years ago, so while I can't say I'm overly familiar with the community, the people I've met seem to have found some peace with where they've arrived at on their journey - I'm sure you will too.
 

Lillian

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Kinda having trouble at work right now. Had to have an investigation over two things, had a really rough time of it, and now it turns out someone has been snooping my twitter in order to find anything incriminating and in a very brief moment of madness I posted a comment about work which I realised was wrong and took down. So i'm currently suspended (paid, but still)

Thing is, its impossible to connect my Twitter to work. My twitter is now in my new name (Lillian, hey! Also can I get a username change on here?) and has been for at least a week, and when i went incognito to check you cant find my account just by using my deadname + twitter on Google, only if you knew my deadname + surname. Which you can't know unless you already know it, since it isn't on my namebadge at work. So saying I'm against the social media policy by bringing anything into dispute makes no sense. Since I never mention where I work or how I work for by name, and always have spoke about it in vague terms if I ever need to mention it. I'm not an idiot.

Anyway so stressed out by all of this, waiting to get a letter saying when I have my next meeting over it, which I will fight like hell in.

So yeah. Hey, i'm Lillian now if you didn't get the message :)

(for those that don't understand the lingo deadname my birthname. Which is no longer my name)
 
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Acteon

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Christ, they should just do away with twitter. I rarely engage on it, just tweet out updates. I'm sure people who don't like me have scraped every social media outlet looking for stuff to be outraged over, thank God I'm old and out of touch :p

Hopefully you'll get through your work issues, if the HR department is any good they'll try and understand the root of your frustration rather than hang you for it, but let us know how it goes.

And the UKA mod-fairy has granted your request :)
 

Emmental Sloth

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Kinda having trouble at work right now. Had to have an investigation over two things, had a really rough time of it, and now it turns out someone has been snooping my twitter in order to find anything incriminating and in a very brief moment of madness I posted a comment about work which I realised was wrong and took down. So i'm currently suspended (paid, but still)

Thing is, its impossible to connect my Twitter to work. My twitter is now in my new name (Lillian, hey! Also can I get a username change on here?) and has been for at least a week, and when i went incognito to check you cant find my account just by using my deadname + twitter on Google, only if you knew my deadname + surname. Which you can't know unless you already know it, since it isn't on my namebadge at work. So saying I'm against the social media policy by bringing anything into dispute makes no sense. Since I never mention where I work or how I work for by name, and always have spoke about it in vague terms if I ever need to mention it. I'm not an idiot.

Anyway so stressed out by all of this, waiting to get a letter saying when I have my next meeting over it, which I will fight like hell in.

So yeah. Hey, i'm Lillian now if you didn't get the message :)

(for those that don't understand the lingo deadname my birthname. Which is no longer my name)
I guess we should say "welcome Lillian" :)
 

Weirdo

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So much to think about, so much to do, so many people that i feel I can trust to tell... its the first step on my journey. Wish me luck, everyone.
Wow. Very happy to hear your news! I hope that the transition at work smooths out and that you are able to become happier with the new you.

Welcome aboard Lillian! 😁
 

Lillian

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Thanks everyone :giggle: I'm out to a few people at work now (ya know, before the suspension) and they have all been very accepting so fingers crossed! And yay, new name!

It's the waiting around to hear about when and what type of meeting that is stressing me out.
 

Macloud

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Firstly: welcome to an aft times scary, but all in all wonderous new world Lillian - if you ever feel any doubt for fear you can depend on all of us here to support you.

also, after 12 years ive now sadly had to upgrade to a new computor with windows 10 - only to find ive got naff all wifi signal - that and either somthing got screwed up in my last contract reneweal or ive just paid £1:45 for a months worth of 4g wifi!
 
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Macloud

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Called EE - looks like I had a refund, which they used to reduce my bill to £1:45 - back to the usual amount next month
 

Lillian

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Had a surprise today... we adopted a pair of rats 10 days ago and today one of them, the bigger of the two had BABIES!

Poor little thing must have been pregnant when she was left at the pet shop, and not far enough along for anything to show up. So she had at least 8 (8!) little beans. Just got to let nature take its course for now. Excuse the quality of the photo, didn't want to disturb Petal and her babies.

How ever many survive, we will keep a couple of girls to stay with Mum and her sister. The rest will be going back to the pet shop to go for adoption, lol

I've started to come out to more people now, everyone has been very supportive. I'm going to see my doctor soon, and start the ball rolling...
 

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