Well firstly, good luckI've had an interesting couple of weeks tbh. Come to terms with the fact that this nagging dark feeling i've had for pretty much my entire life is in fact some version of gender dysphoria. Maybe my body issues are connected, I don't know. But once I accidentally said it out loud, for the first ever time, to an older colleague while were talking about some other problems i have (self harm) and how hard it is to get help, its like a cloud has cleared.
Of course this is only the first step of many. Its gonna be a long. slow process but I'm now at the start.
Of course this all happens just as our fucking useless government decide to roll back trans rights, wherever I fit on that. So my happiness and my realisation is certainly clouded by a simmering undercurrent of pure rage. Kinda like a certain anime character from Sanrio, lol.
And now, today, I found out one of my coworkers has long thought I was trans, lol. I mean, I guess I am? Non-binary is part of it, and I do have the dysphoria, so i guess she was accidentally right, lol.
So much to think about, so much to do, so many people that i feel I can trust to tell... its the first step on my journey. Wish me luck, everyone.
I guess we should say "welcome Lillian"Kinda having trouble at work right now. Had to have an investigation over two things, had a really rough time of it, and now it turns out someone has been snooping my twitter in order to find anything incriminating and in a very brief moment of madness I posted a comment about work which I realised was wrong and took down. So i'm currently suspended (paid, but still)
Thing is, its impossible to connect my Twitter to work. My twitter is now in my new name (Lillian, hey! Also can I get a username change on here?) and has been for at least a week, and when i went incognito to check you cant find my account just by using my deadname + twitter on Google, only if you knew my deadname + surname. Which you can't know unless you already know it, since it isn't on my namebadge at work. So saying I'm against the social media policy by bringing anything into dispute makes no sense. Since I never mention where I work or how I work for by name, and always have spoke about it in vague terms if I ever need to mention it. I'm not an idiot.
Anyway so stressed out by all of this, waiting to get a letter saying when I have my next meeting over it, which I will fight like hell in.
So yeah. Hey, i'm Lillian now if you didn't get the message
(for those that don't understand the lingo deadname my birthname. Which is no longer my name)
Wow. Very happy to hear your news! I hope that the transition at work smooths out and that you are able to become happier with the new you.So much to think about, so much to do, so many people that i feel I can trust to tell... its the first step on my journey. Wish me luck, everyone.